


It ain't Heaven

by Anonymous



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Claim, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-29 03:52:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5114831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nodus Tollens:<br/>(n) The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It ain't Heaven

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [23emotions](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/23emotions) collection. 



 

 **Nodus Tollens** _n. the realization that the plot of your life doesn't make sense to you anymore_

Sam Winchester looked at the word on the screen of his screen laptop. He had realise that a long time ago this thing, the plot of his life doesn't even make sense anymore. He had thought jumping on the pit would be the ending, he was more than ready to go. The Winchester gospel would have ended with that bang.

Chuck's final words, if he must say. Chuck was gone and the story should have ended there. But it seem the God loved plot twists, and every turn someone or something kept on coming at them.

 Why is it that this battle never ends? One thing after the other? There's fucking Leviatans and Heaven it self, even years after Dean and Sam, always manages to be Alive.

They are part of a war that no one else seems to know about, vampires come at them, werewolves, witches, hell even slender man but that's just their normal.

  He goes go back and run his memories back to those days, the days when it felt he was skipping through things, to get to the good parts in life. Like that bus to Stanford, college, the parties, Jess.

What the hell is his story anyway? Horror? Biography? Is he even a big part in this story? Or just a bystander caught up in a wrong one? As Sam looked back through the years, there's just one thing that nags and thugs at him.

 _Dean_.

Dean is, no matter how much pain they cause to each other, no matter what betrayals and secret, Dean is just there. And It doesn't make any sense to him at all. Why couldn't they just stay away from each other?

Looking back, he's relationship with his brothersince the moment he left for Stanford was severed. And no matter what Dean said and do, Sam carries the burden of doing that to them. . . . 

"Dean, do you think We'll go to heaven?" Sam ask after hitting bottom on his 9th beer. Knowing Dean, he'd just laughed at him.

Why is it that at the end of everything, the loops of life they've been going through. It's always gonna be Dean that'll assure him that's everything is gonna turn out, _not good_ but _not bad_.

Dean just looks at him and nudge him.

Every since then he would ask the same thing over and over again Dean giving him vague answers. It is unfair to ask Dean things he don't know about. But Sam wanted Dean to assure him on things.

On their last days as hunters, their 7th final battle and  3rd apocalypse to face. Dean had pulled him aside for one moment.

"You'll be there Sammy." Dean told him. "In my heaven. **It ain't heaven if you're not there**."

"So you think we'll both go to hell?" Sam looked as his brothers tired eyes, but smilling familiar smirk.

" **It ain't hell if you're there with me either.** " Dean pulled him close, wrapping an arm around him. "you'll always be there, _it can't be hell if your with me_. We will always be together Sammy, don't you get that by now? **Death knows better than to keep us apart.**  He knows better cause I killed him that _one time_ he tried."

In the end Sam realised that it didn't matter.

One day, if he ever had the chance he'd go over everything and anything that he went through, every tale horrors,  happiness, of _love_. He'd go over and over again those memories that he think he's forgotten but are always there.

The first time Dean had taught him how to ride a bike, _nostalgia_ ,

the first time Dean had let go of the bike, the proud look on Dean's face. _Achievment_

the the first  time Dean had given him a beer, _danger_ ,

heck the first time he left Dean and his Dad, _heartbreak and freedom_.

 

He'd go over them again and again, with Dean beside him. Cause Dean is right, Death knows better than to keep them apart.

 

_Nodus Tollens n. the realization that the plot of your life doesn't make sense to you anymore that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don't understand, that don't even seem to belong in the same genre, Either everything seems important or nothing does. It’s a tangled mess of moments.which requires you to go back and reread the chapters you had originally skimmed to get to the good parts,The only thing you know is that there’s more to the story. That soon enough you’ll flip back to this day looking for clues of what was to come, rereading all the chapters you skimmed through to get to the good parts-only to learn that all along you were supposed to choose your own adventure._

 


End file.
